The Alt-World Where Walt Disney is Harvey Milk

BY ED SIKOV | President Trump has chosen open homosexual and ‘gay Christian’ advocate Rick Grenell to be the US Ambassador to NATO, according to several news reports.

“The appointment, not yet confirmed by the White House, would make Grenell the highest-ranking open homosexual serving in the Trump administration.”

Well, well, well! If there’s one thing sure to outrage the religious right about Donald Trump’s behavior, it is certainly not boasting of grabbing pussy or his treachery with Russia but rather the appointment of an openly LGBTQ person to an important position. These people are delusional. I saw a Facebook post recently that depicted Trump seated at his desk in the Oval Office while a swirling baroque Jesus swept in protectively behind him. To this, the poster had commented, “Finally we have a man of God in the White House.”

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A man of God?! I don’t have a personal relationship with the Creator, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t smile upon pussy grabbers.

The announcement of Grenell’s likely appointment came in Life-SiteNews.com, a website that makes Fox News look like The Progressive. The author of the piece is the notorious clown Peter LaBarbera, president of an organization that is actually called Americans for Truth about Homosexuality, the website of which contains this hilarious parenthetical aside: “(LaBarbera has been falsely accused of being a repressed homosexual more times than he can remember.)” This calls to mind the immortal statement of what constitutes proof: “If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, smells like a duck, and lays duck eggs, then it’s probably not a straight guy.”

On LifeSiteNews.com, LaBarbera continues: “But there is another side to Grenell: ‘gay’ advocate. As LifeSiteNews reported after he was floated for Ambassador to the UN (a job that eventually went to South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley), Grenell advocates for homosexual ‘marriage’ as a ‘conservative’ issue. He criticizes ’loud religious right activists’ who oppose homosexuality and touts Trump’s uniquely pro-LGBT credentials as a Republican. He was an early Trump supporter.

“On LGBT issues, Trump has disappointed social conservatives by a series of actions that include reinstating an Obama executive order forcing federal contractors to have pro-LGBTQ policies; proclaiming that the homosexual ‘marriage’ issue is ‘settled’ in the courts; and appointing top advisers like Betsy DeVos and Anthony Scaramucci who are pro-homosexual.”

By “forcing federal contractors to have pro-LGBTQ policies,” LaBarbera is evidently referring to Trump’s continuation of an executive order issued by President Barack Obama that prevents federal contractors from arbitrarily firing gay people for being gay; these contractors are not by any means forced to be pro-LGBTQ.

I find this stuff to be incredibly annoying, not because LaBarbera’s views on gay people come unfiltered from the Cro-Magnon period of proto-human history, but because of his insistence on setting apart words that trouble him by sticking them in quotation marks. Come on, Peter! Is all of this because your first name is a synonym for penis? Did the other boys in middle school make fun of you? Is that what this is about? I’d be only too happy to arrange a circle jerk for you the next time you’re in New York. You could make up for lost time. It would be genuinely reparative therapy.

Wait! Wait! There’s more!

“A Mississippi attorney who identifies as a homosexual is objecting to the ‘gay’ content” in Disney’s live remake of “Beauty and the Beast,” citing children should not be exposed to adult topics that seek to destroy their innocence, according to the Christian News Network. In an Orlando Sentinel column, Joseph R. Murray II said the company is straying away from Walt Disney’s original vision to “entertain children” and is now pushing a political agenda.

“The vision for Walt’s world was clear: Entertain children,” Murray wrote. “Disney characters were about hope, optimism, and, above all else, making sure children were able to enjoy their innocence for as long as the outside world would permit. And Disney understood that part of its mission was to provide a buffer for as long as possible.

‘Somewhere along the line, Disney went off course. No longer did it see itself as a defender of children’s innocence. Instead, it saw itself as a conduit to social change. Walt Disney became Harvey Milk.’

Harvey Milk?! I think we’re getting a little carried away. First of all, Murray is flat-out wrong. Disney characters are scarcely all “about hope, optimism, and, above all else, making sure children were able to enjoy their innocence for as long as the outside world would permit.”

No. Far from thinking that kids needed a buffer, Disney went out of his way to terrify toddlers. Did this schmegegge never see “Bambi?”

“Man enters the forest,” the film’s narrator darkly intones, and almost immediately the titular fawn’s mother gets shot to death. (And Dad doesn’t step in to provide any now-missing cuddles; he’s a distant, intimidating figure seen only in long shot.)

And what about the Evil Queen in Snow White, who poisons the eponymous heroine out of insane jealousy? Or Cruella de Vil in “101 Dalmatians,” who wants to rip the skins off a bunch of cute little puppies and stitch them together for a coat? And Dumbo, without a doubt one of the druggiest movies ever made, features a mother who gets thrown into a madhouse, leaving her baby frightened, alone, and at the mercy of a bunch of mean boys straight out of a gay teen’s nightmare.

All of this hysteria comes from a short interview that “Beauty”’s director, Bill Condon, gave to Attitude magazine. Name drop alert! Bill happens to be an old friend of mine; he’s the openly gay writer-director behind the gay-themed “Gods and Monsters,” which he adapted for the screen from the novel by Christopher Bram, winning an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay in the process. Nevertheless — and try as he might (no, actually he didn’t try) — he did not turn Walt Disney into Harvey Milk.

Despite the subtlety of the gay character’s depiction, a theater in Alabama has refused to show the film. As the owner wrote in a Facebook post, “If I can’t sit through a movie with God or Jesus sitting by me then we have no business showing it.”

My question: does Jesus like His popcorn with “butter flavor” or does He prefer it plain? That artificial “butter flavor” is a truly nasty yellowish oil that sure puts on the pounds. That’s probably why the Son of God doesn’t partake of it. When was the last time you saw a depiction of Jesus the Christ as a fat man?

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