Some Dispatches from the Good Guys

Some Dispatches from the Good Guys
QUEERTY.COM

If your email inbox resembles mine — and I hope it doesn’t, because mine’s a mess — you get daily updates from two queer media outlets: Queerty and LGBTQ Nation. I’m rather fond of both of them.

Queerty is the sillier of the two, what with its loads of eye candy clickbait. In fact, sometimes an “article” consists entirely of reprinted Instagram posts of beautiful men with ripped abs, ripped abs, pretty faces, and ripped abs. Leaving aside the fact that these photos make me feel totally inadequate, they’re a lot of fun.

On one recent, representative day, some hot stuff named Carson Jones showed off his ripped abs in a sweaty locker room selfie, then proceeded to write a lengthy caption about how “broken” he felt in 2019; scrumptious Omar Sharif Jr. displayed his perfect body in aquamarine Speedos; a lightly hairy somebody named Matthew Risch worked on his tan in green Speedos; a muscle-bound man named Victor Turpin stood magnificently on a beach in Colombia; the beautiful Olympic swimmer Tom Daley smirked as he flexed his fine, ripped abs on the deck of a pool; a cutie called Richard Hadfield drank a beer in the ocean, the water coming up conveniently just below his nipples…

Well, you get the idea.

All is not eye candy on Queerty, however. In the same issue is a story about a young gay crank who apparently killed himself soon after protesting a drag queen story hour held at a local library in Australia. No worries: even I won’t make fun of him.

LGBTQ Nation tends to be less focused on men’s bodies than Queerty. That’s not to say it’s not entertaining. For example, here’s an item from a recent edition:

“Mark Steyn, a frequent guest host for Tucker Carlson’s show on Fox News, filled in for Rush Limbaugh this week and questioned whether out presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg is actually gay. Steyn also wanted to know if Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), the only female candidate remaining with a chance of winning the nomination, is actually a woman.”

From the same reporter, the always amusing Bil Browning, comes this gem: “Evangelicals are praying that God ‘exposes’ Michelle Obama as transgender.” And this: “Quentin Tarantino says he owes his career to the ‘Golden Girls.’” Tarantino played an Elvis impersonator in a two-part episode. Said Tarantino, “By the time the residuals were over three years later, I made like $3,000… And that kept me going during our pre-production time trying to get ‘Reservoir Dogs’ going.”

Browning certainly has an admirable absurdist streak.

Quote without comment from the British PinkNews: “Surprise, surprise, Donald Trump has appointed a campaign advisor who promotes conversion therapy and thinks HIV in gay men is ‘God’s moral law.’ Anti-LGBT+ extremist Jenna Ellis is a right-wing news pundit and former constitutional law attorney. She does nothing to hide her strongly homophobic views and has a long history of tirades against ‘the homosexual lifestyle’ and the ‘LGBT agenda.’ Trump appointed her for the senior role as he was impressed by Ellis’ TV appearances… He also indicated that he wanted to give her a bigger job, and his team briefly discussed bringing her into the White House.”

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