Miami vices

Super-Sized Events for Gay Marriage and Movies

Size queens take note: bigger isn’t always better. Morgan Spurlock’s deliciously disturbing documentary, “Supersize Me,” takes McDonalds (and even some school systems) to task for enabling America’s obesity. A hybrid of Michael Moore and Johnny Knoxville of “Jackass,” Spurlock embarks on a grueling 30-day McD’s-only diet, much to the horror of his vegan chef girlfriend, gaining almost 30 pounds in the process.

Although guests like Moby, John Sloss, Page 6’s Chris Wilson, “Trembling Before G-d” filmmaker Sandi DuBowski (who’s presently involved with a documentary on gay Muslims, “In The Name of Allah”) and SharpLeft Marketing’s Doug Langway cringed at endless frightening facts about fast food at the film’s premiere, those repeated, alluring images of Big Macs whipped us into hamburger frenzy! Happily, piles of delicious mini-burgers awaited at the Lotus reception, where we asked the charming, slimmed down Spurlock if he might do a sequel involving another sort of supersizing: penile implants. “That might be a movie my girlfriend encourages me to make!” he laughed.

Encouraging New Yorkers to speak out against Bush’s proposed anti-gay marriage amendment, John Cameron Mitchell assembled an all-star benefit, Wed-Rock, at Crobar. Looking groom-ready in a suit, Mitchell admitted to us that “I’m not going to get married tonight… but I’m going to get laid!”

Cumming did once enter into a domestic partnership with a boyfriend, which he applied for at City Hall. “There were signs [at the licensing office] like “no eating, no spitting,” he recalled. “I got it so my boyfriend could get health insurance, which I think is really important.” Later down the line they broke up, and Cumming returned to City Hall to annul the partnership, his female assistant in tow. A security office mistook the pair as a couple getting married and wished “congratulations.” “I thought ‘how wrong you are,’” Cumming recalled. Immediately after his appearance, Cumming flew off to Vancouver, where he’s playing the narrator in a film version of the recent “Reefer Madness” stage musical.

The HBO film of Cho’s recent tour, “Revolution,” will screen at June’s New Fest, while the funny – and rather thin – lady is currently working on her next show, “State of Emergency,” which she plans to tour before the presidential election. “Mobilize and vote!” she insisted. “It’s a really big deal, another civil war, and we’re gonna win! We’re gonna win!”

We felt like we won when the 6th Annual Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival invited us down to South Beach. The fabulously organized, fun, and very-Miami (a Botox certificate was amongst silent auction items) festival opened with the world premiere of “Girls Will Be Girls,” director Richard Day’s new feature; “Straight Jacket,” a zippy comedy about a closeted Hollywood actor who’s pressured by studio heads and his agent (played by Veronica Cartwright) into marrying a beard. Closing night entailed Angela Robinson’s Charlie’s Angels-gone-Sapphic comedy “D.E.B.S.,” which we hear might be going directly to video. Call or drop a line to distributor Screen Gems and demand a theatrical release if you want to see these hot spy girls on the big screen! 10202 W. Washington Blvd., Culver City, Cali., 90232, phone 310 244 7491.

In between walks up and down sunny, uber-gay Lincoln Avenue, the beach, a venture into Little Havana for Cuban grub and sipping passion fruit martinis in the VIP lounge at South Beach’s newly opened Cafeteria, we caught some movies and partied hearty. Rodney Evans’ “Brother To Brother” won best feature, and “Callas Forever,” starring Jeremy Irons as a homo and Fanny Ardant as the titular diva, nabbed an audience award.

We found the festival’s hush-hush in-house secret awards equally interesting: Festival Lush, Slut, Most Mysterious, Most Wanted, Adorable, Clingy, Difficult, Demanding, and Stylish. “I think I’m the most Demanding so far,” admitted program director Carol Coombes. “I’ll accept that award.”

Some winners? TLA Releasing’s Lewis Tice: Most Stylish. “Mango Kiss” star Michelle Wolff: Most Wanted (filmmakers were slipping notes under her hotel door demanding she star in their next film). “Raspberry Reich” director Bruce La Bruce: Most Mysterious. And “Bear Cub” (aka “Cachorro,” which screens at the Tribeca Film Festival) star José Luis Garcia-Perez: Adorable.

In “Bear Cub,” Garcia-Perez plays a husky, handsome, and promiscuous gay bear whose paternal instinct kicks in when a young nephew is left in his care. Over sushi, a trimmer yet still facially-furry Garcia-Perez told us that while he’s in NYC he’ll audition for American casting agents.

How about taking advantage of his newfound “bear” sex symbol status and asking queer cubs like, say, Nathan Lane, or bear chasers for some, ahem, help? “Look at my face,” he cockily smiled. “Do you think I need anyone to help advance my career?”

Unlike other gay adult stars turned (usually dreadful) singers, Ford always hoped to flex his vocal chords and even had brushes with success during the 90s. “It’s not an afterthought for me,” he notes. Ford just recorded a duet with Pepper Mashay (a cover of Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered,” which you can hear/buy at centaurmusic.com) and has sung with Chaka Khan, Vanessa Williams, and Salt N’ Pepa. His dream duet? “George Michael. I think he’s hot, the whole bathroom thing is hot, and I respect him musically.”

Even non-porn star vocalists have combined sex with singing. Serge Gainsbourg famously brought oral sex into the recording studio on tunes like 1969’s “Soixante Neuf Année Erotique.” “I make him sing,” assured a grinning Harper.

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