Fresh Produce(rs)!

Cuckoo For Nia, Kiev, Comics, and a Good Gay Spoof

Darn that snow. Besides bumming our ready-for-spring selves out, it kept us from Courtney Love’s literally head-banging surprise at Plaid. We also missed Love doing a cover of Til Tuesday’s “Voices Carry” at Bowery Ballroom the next night, but one of our pals who was present told us that not only did she not remember all the lyrics to her own songs, but she held out the microphone and let the audience do it.

In Nia Vardalos’ newest film, “Connie and Carla,” she and Toni Colette play kooky lounge singers who pretend––a la “Victor Victoria”––to be drag queens, becoming big fat show tune-singing successes at a queer cabaret bar.

“I would like George Bush to see ‘Connie and Carla,’” Vardalos insisted to us. “If I could get Bush to walk out whistling a show tune and realizing we’re all just people, my work is done.”

While legality wasn’t an issue, sacredness took the night off at the star-studded New Festival (newfestival.org) benefit reading of Todd Stephens’ new wickedly zingy screenplay, “Another Gay Movie,” March 15 at the Marquee. Scott Thompson, Wilson Cruz, and Justin Bond were among the cast who took to the Marquee’s stage and brought this take-off on teen sex comedies––and gay indie films––to life.

“The idea is it spoofs other gay films,” Stephens told us. “Like if you get it you’ll see references to ‘Trick’ and ‘Broken Hearts Club’ and [my own movie] ‘Edge of 17.’” However, his upcoming paean to Stevie Nicks and homos “Gypsy 83s” starring Sara Rue, escaped the satire guillotine.

“I haven’t spoofed ‘Gypsy’ in it,” he admitted. “Maybe I’ll add some Stevie Nicks thing or something.”

Before the reading, we shared a few moments with Cruz, who was quickly losing his voice but first admitted he’d like to see another proposed amendment to the Constitution: “No more Bushes for president!”

Violating the amendment forbidding Manhattan residents from visiting Brooklyn, we hopped the bridge to journalist Bill Roundy’s party celebrating the launch of his upcoming debut comic book series, “Super Power of Attorney” about a legal firm that represents superheroes and their ilk. Do we hear an HBO or WB original series down the road? Take a peek at www.billroundy.com.

While we’re on comic books, we hear that DC Comics will be launching a title featuring a bisexual witch this June. Meanwhile, the first trade paperback collection of Warren Ellis’ amazing “Global Frequency” comic, which is being made into a cable TV series, includes a story in which a lesbian saves the world from an alien techno virus! It’s not gay, but Vertigo’s “It’s a Bird” examines the mythos behind Superman as a writer struggles with a horrible familial disease. Now if only Superman, lesbian heroes and law firms could all work on this marriage thing.

Marriage was the order of the day at the Same-Sex Wedding Expo at the Javitz Center’s annual GLBT Expo. In an area dubbed “Loveland,” one could peruse potential honeymoon destinations, china, gifts, cakes, and loads of other things for a gay couple with matrimony on the mind.

Long-term commitment wasn’t exactly on the mind at the TLA Video/Releasing booth when “Boy Meets Boy”’s Rob and porn star Enrico Vega swung by.

“I’ll never clean my neck again,” sighed a votary after receiving a smooch from Vega as TLA’s Lewis Tice and The New Festival’s Basil Tsiokos looked on.

We were happy that Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick stopped looking on and got back into their roles in B-way’s “The Producers.” We attended a performance last week during which a technical glitch set off almost ten minutes worth of ad libbing from the delightful pair. First, to cover up a hissing sound, Lane concocted an explanation involving a dry cleaner business. Then Lane and Broderick began a sort of Harvey Korman/Tim Conway schtick, cracking each other up as well as the audience. Broderick tripped and lost the sole from a shoe, while Lane lost a cufflink.

“I lost a cufflink, you lost a heel, I think this is an omen!” Lane said. “I need a cobbler,” Broderick nodded, visibly restraining a giggle.

“Cobblers are in fairy tales!” Lane responded, the audience in hysterics. “We call them shoemakers!”

We call these guys amazing––please never leave again!

If you’re more interested in pierogies and blintzes than a cobbler, then the East Village’s reborn Kiev Restaurant on Second Avenue is an absolute must. Done up in a sort of modern rustic royal Ukrainian style ––lime greens, stained golds, mustard yellows, and sky blues with a variety of chandeliers overhead––the olden days of grungy diner deco are long gone.

The menu is equally risen from the ashes, with amazing Eastern European/Ukranian dishes served up in Asian aesthetic style. The superb pierogi sampler (braised pork and kasha were magnificent) arrived in a steamed dumpling tray, while entrees come artfully presented on square plates. Prices have risen since Kiev’s earlier days, but their tasty martinis are just about $6 a pop.

Contact us at FerberandSabo@aol.com.

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